Answered Prayers

Monday's doctor's report: the tumor has shrunk about 80% and the doctor expects me to be cancer free by the time I have my surgery in May!!!!

Admitting One's Limitations

Ok, I give in. I have to admit I am sick. I'm not superwoman. I have to accept that I have limitations I didn't have before. I have to accept the fact that without the help of others I can't get through this, but at the same time be thankful that those individuals are here and willing to help.

This round of chemo is kicking my you know what in the worst way. Each one seems to be getting worse. I have to remind myself that I'm undergoing one of the most physically difficult medical treatments the human body has to endure. I have to stop and rest. I have to take care of me. Yesterday I didn't take care of me and it ended up with me passing out when we went to dinner. Fortunately I'm ok, but it was a harsh reality call that I can't put off eating, even if it means just eating a piece of cheese to hold me over. Some lessons are learned the hard way I guess....but that is one I heard loud and clear.

Good News

I got good news today. The tumor has shrunk a lot and can now be moved around where before it was huge and solid as a rock. This is a good thing. The oncologist was so pleased that he sent me upstairs for the surgeon to look at it too. The surgeon was shocked we had achieved so much progress after just two treatments.....so we are winning the war. My next treatment is tomorrow. The nest step in the battle begins!

Been A While

I hadn't realized it had been so long since I have posted. Chemo keeps me tired these days. I can't hit the blog from work, and I'm so tired by the time I get home that I usually don't even open my computer. Physically, the chemo is really wearing me down. I pray more for strength and energy now than anything. I'm only able to work part time now, and I see that dwindling quickly. I try hard to keep the spirit up, though. I just hate not having the energy to be involved with Jadyn like I want to. I want to get up and play with her but sometimes its all I can do to stay awake and just watch her play. I am so thankful to have someone here to help me. He is such a blessing from God, and I couldn't do this without him.

On the flip side, it was great to see my parents this week for the holiday. I know it was good for Jadyn, too. Having dinner with them was so nice. It was a small escape from reality, even if only for a few short hours. I'm looking forward to seeing them again next month.

Rough Week

Well, this week's treatment ended up catching me by surprise and making me sick most of the week. I was still able to hang on and work through it, though. The doctor did have to make some adjustments to my meds. Hopefully the next round will be a little easier. The immune shot was rough, as expected, and has caused a few days of pain. I'm hoping it will ease up by Monday so I can have a relatively normal week. Fortunately my lab scores were good enough through the last round of treatment that, as long as they stay good, I only have to go in once a week now instead of twice a week to have my counts checked. That is good news. Despite the nausea and pain, I'm still hanging in here and the doctor is pleased with how I am doing. I'm doing better than expected which is also a good thing.

Good Days

Today was a good day. I had a treatment this morning and it went well. I have a good amount of energy today and even went for a walk when we got home from the doctor's office. Yesterday was pretty good, too. Daytime had some bumps, but I was pretty productive after I got home from work. Once this treatment settles in the little bit of hair I have left will probably go....and now, I think I'm ok with that. It has taken some getting used to, but I'm getting to that point of acceptance. I've gotten to where I am comfortable walking around the house without my hat. Jadyn doesn't look at me funny anymore, but she won't touch my head yet. (Yes, Dad, you have more hair than me now. Imagine that. :) ) Anyway, I'm feeling good, and I celebrate these days. My spirits are still up, and I credit a lot of that to the regular church visits. Feels good to be back in church. I'm sure all the prayers from everyone are helping too!!

Good and Bad

Well, I'm getting better from the crud, which is a good thing. Unfortunately, my hair started really falling out Thursday night. It has been harder than I thought it would be, even with it being so short. It has been a stressful week. On top of everything, Ive spent most of the week fighting with two insurance companies. I think fighting with them is about as bad as having cancer itself. The insurance is supposed to help and, while the money from the policies will definitely help with all of the extra expenses, the stress from dealing with the insurance companies definitely doesn't help at all. Oh well....all part of it, I guess.

Rough Week

Well, its been a rough week so far. I've caught this crud stuff. The doctor gave me antibiotics Monday, but I'm still not feeling better. Came home early yesterday, and was only able to work a couple of hours today. I know I'll get through this. I just have to keep reminding myself that my body has to work harder now to fight off these infections and that I need to take it easier when I do get sick.

Good to Be Home

So Friday morning, Oscar and I flew to New Orleans. We spent Friday in New Orleans, Saturday at an event in Baton Rouge, then flew home Sunday afternoon. It was a fabulous weekend. Exciting, but relaxing at the same time.

Fortunately I got good news from the doctor today. My white blood cell count should be 4 at the lowest. On Thursday it was 2. Today it was 12!!! My next treatment is next Wednesday.

On the down side, a friend of mine's 8 year old daughter is also fighting cancer. She is stage IV, which means it has spread. Today she told me the cancer has spread to the little girls scalp and lungs. Please be in prayer for her. She is a delightful little girl. She has been in chemo for 8 months.

Crazy Week

Well, its been a crazy long week.

Sunday we went to church. The service was great. Jadyn catnapped on the way home, which meant she wouldn't take a real nap, which also meant no nap for mommy. Needless to say once Jadyn went to bed for the night, a very tired mommy wasn't far behind her.

We did get good news Monday. The doctor did a physical exam and said the tumor feels as though its responding to treatment and he can tell a significant improvement. My blood work continues to look good, so the doctor is pleased with how I'm responding to treatment. My next cycle is in early November. Only three more of this round to go. I went in again today for more blood work, which also looked good.

Overall, it was a week of a little bit of pain and a whole lot of fatigue. The being tired gets me more than anything does, but so far I've been able to push through it. I've still been able to work every day except the actual day of treatment, even though most days aren't full days due to doctor's appointments and lab visits.

A Better Today

Today was a better day. I wasn't as nauseas and didn't hurt as much. We did just spend it as a nice relaxing day around the house. Getting up energy for church tomorrow. For now, just sitting here, resting, enjoying the Alabama v. Tennessee game. I'm hoping tomorrow is as good as today was. If so, it will be a good day.

Rough Week

Well, the nausea and the pain started to kick in this week as expected. I went in yesterday for a follow up with the oncologist, who decided to keep me and put me on IV anti-nausea meds and some fluids. Fortunately, this meant I was able to work a full day today. The nausea is moderate, so its tolerable and manageable with medication. The pain is manageable as well. I'm just glad I have a doctor who listens to me and treats the whole me and not just the cancer. His whole staff is great, and they really make me feel glad they are the ones with me on this journey. I am exhausted, though, and am looking forward to getting some much needed rest this weekend!! On the bright side, the nurse said the second week after treatment is usually a little easier than the first so hopefully the week to come will be better than the week we're coming out of.

Changes in Hair (Pics)

Me with little hair:

Wig #1:

Wig #2:

After Chemo

Well, we were at the doctor's office for about 5.5 hours. We saw the doctor, who answered some questions, then they began my treatment. We left right at 2pm. The treatment wasn't too bad. I go back tomorrow for an immune booster shot, then again Thursday to follow up with the doctor to see how I reacted to the treatment. Not much else to say right now. Will keep everyone posted.

First Treatment

This morning is my first treatment and I'm quite nervous just because I don't know what to expect. I can also tell my sensitivity to bandage adhesive is getting worse because this dressing is itching like a you know what. I know today will be fine, though. I will post more this afternoon.

Beautiful Sunday

This morning started with a wonderful church service. It was nice to be back. The music and the sermon touched my heart. All three of us went, and Jadyn seemed to really enjoy children's church. After church we had dinner, then naps for all around. After naps we all did a little grocery shopping. I ventured to Walmart without my wig, which felt really weird. I thought about dying the gray spots but decided it was a little pointless. Not sure yet if I'm going to wear my wig to work tomorrow or not. I guess we'll find out in the morning. :)

This evening was a little rough. I felt a little overwhelmed with everything...and I guess its ok for that to happen sometimes. I just have to pull myself back together when its over. Oscar reminded me that the things that were bothering me weren't as bad as I was seeing them (it was a lot of little things) and it made me feel a lot better. I'm so very blessed to have him standing by my side through this.

Anyway, its time to finish watching this Colts game them get some rest. Its going to be a doozy of a week!

Bye Bye Hair

I decided to take a little control today.....so I went to the beauty salon and had my hair cut off. We cut off a ponytail, which I will donate to locks of love. The we trimmed up my wig to look a little more like the style I would normally get. The color is gonna take a little getting used to. One thing about really short hair is I get to see where all my gray spots are....there are more of them than I was expecting...lol. It was a little bit of a shocker to see me with such short hair, but I'm actually ok with it.

I'm still a bit sore from surgery. I suppose that is to be expected for a few days. Other than that I am doing fine.

Surgery

Not too much to say tonight. Surgery today went very well. Everything went in place as expected with no complications. I'm really sore, which is to be expected, but otherwise I feel okay. The whole reality of things have hit a little hard today, but I'm working through it. Now time to go do my devotional and get some rest. Tomorrow may be a long day!

Test Results and Surgery Prep

Today we got back the results of the PET scan. On a PET scan they inject a radioactive material that bonds with the abnormal cells (ie the cancer) and shows on the scan anywhere in the body where the cancer is located. The scan showed that the cancer has not spread anywhere else in the body and is only located in my breast. This is an incredible blessing from God.

Tomorrow is my first surgery. They will be going in and inserting the port for my chemo injections. The surgery is considered minor and will be done under twilight anesthesia so I won't be fully asleep. It takes about 30-45 minutes to complete. Afterwards I'll be sent home with a little bit of pain medicine. I've taken the whole day off from work to recoup. If I feel well enough tomorrow afternoon I'll go get some turbans and scarves for my head and look at a few wigs. I'm a bit excited about that part. Its kind of fun to see the new looks the wigs provide.

I'm not scared about the surgery. I have a great surgeon and know I'm in good hands. We should be home well before noon, and I'll get to take a while and rest.

Lots of Tests

Today was a day of tests. We did a PET scan, CT scan, and an echocardiogram. On the bright side of things, my heart looks and sounds GREAT!!!! :)

Over all today has been a good day, just a bit tired. Tonight Jadyn and I came home and watched a little 'Melmo' (Elmo) and then she played in a bubble bath for about 30 minutes. It was a nice normal evening at home. The 930 bedtimes are a little strange, but I suppose I'll get used to them. I need the rest.

It was nice, though. Today, two friends of mine gave me a book called Your Journey with Cancer and God. Its a one year devotional. I look forward to reading it every evening. I've also ordered a great book to read while I go through treatments. It should last through the first little bit anyway. :) I have a feeling I just may start doing a bit of reading!!

Treatment Plan

Today has been......real. We have a treatment plan in place, which is good. It is aggressive, which is good. I'm glad we have answers and are able to move forward quickly and start taking care of this.

I think the hardest part of this today has been telling family. It has made it so much more real. I know it is hard on everyone with me being so far away. Its still so surreal, but I just keep telling myself I will get through this, I will get through this, I will get through this.

I went ahead today and picked up most of my meds to prepare for chemo treatments. They start Tuesday morning. I'll pick up the rest of them tomorrow. Its a little overwhelming to try to keep up with everything. I think I'm going to have to get a mini planner or something to help keep track...I'll figure it out. Anywho, another day down. Time to relax a little and get ready for the rest of the week. There are a few more tests this week, then Friday a minor surgery to get my chemo port put in.

Officially Diagnosed

Today I was officially diagnosed with breast cancer. Today my journey, and my fight, began. All things considered, I have done well today. Those I have chosen to tell have been incredibly supportive, and I love them all. They are those I hold nearest and dearest to my heart. So, today I lift my head. I am a breast cancer survivor in the making. I didn't chose cancer, it chose me...but I can choose how I deal with it. I choose to fight it, head held high, with a positive spirit and love and support from those around me. I will beat this!